Day 3: Finding and Tuning in to an Animal or Plant
“No matter how long I linger with any being, I cannot exhaust the dynamic enigma of its presence.”
― David Abram
Today’s practice builds upon yesterday’s acknowledgement and recognition of the other-than-human world, with an invitation to find and tune in with an animal or plant in your midst.
To invite you into this exploration, we want to begin by explaining a process you probably experience on a regular basis but might not have a name for: co-regulation. Co-regulation occurs in the nervous system and it happens any time our system is impacted and modified by the nervous systems of others in our midst. It serves a very specific evolutionary purpose as one of the most adaptive ways we have evolved to feel our belonging, our place, and our wellness.
The impact and constant unfolding of co-regulation happens most often – and most powerfully – with intimate partners, animal companions, and other high-importance, close-in relationships. Co-regulation typically refers to the beneficial impact systems have on each other such as relaxing one another, welcoming one another and, in the process, creating more secure attachment, intimacy and wellness. But it can also refer to the harmful impact systems can have on each other such as creating a field of fear, lack of safety, and mistrust.
We invite you to be curious about all of the responses and reactions you have in the company of others and, for the purposes of this practice, we are specifically turning our attention to the down-regulating, nourishing, and stabilizing process of co-regulation with an animal companion, a plant or something from the natural world. You may choose a houseplant, a tree, the clouds, or even a bird outside of your window.
To do this practice with an animal, start by placing your hands on their body and notice what you feel. If you have a companion that will allow you, rest your head on its chest and listen for their heartbeat. Feel the animal breathing and start to attune, settling yourself into the animal’s rhythm. Allow yourself to be nourished in the wordless connection.
Try playing with different types of engagement: notice what happens when you open or close your eyes, when you mimic their breath, or when your touch is still and when it’s in motion. If your companion is a dog, try taking a deep breath and let out a long sigh and notice if the dog does the same. This is an example of them co-regulating with you! More than we usually realize, our presence and actions impact the web of life in our wake.
If you do not have an animal companion, try this practice with a tree or a houseplant. It’s possible to feel many of the same sensations when we get quiet and listen to our friends in the plant kingdom.
If it’s too hot or cold outside, or you live in a place where tree hugging would be a challenge, try snuggling up with a soft blanket and listen to some beautiful music or bird song, or watch the sun set down on the horizon. Try to use two senses (touch and sound or touch and sight) to do this practice. You won't technically be co-regulating because co-regulation is a process that occurs between two nervous systems. But you will get the experience of your system responding to a set of sensory inputs, which is the experience we are wanting you to track and begin to 'harness' for your own erotic wellness. Even here, notice how your participation affects the thing you’re engaging.
As you go through this practice, notice the complex responses your system can experience simultaneously. Part of you might feel delight at the texture and smell of fur or bark while another part of you might feel stress about an event that happened that day. Try and make space for all of it.
Spend at least 5-10 minutes here, longer if you have it, ideally at a time that won't require you to jump right up and rush off to something else. Your main focus is to notice how you’re feeling as you are placing your attention on the impacts of intentional connection. Feel the co-regulation and all that comes with it as your nervous systems respond to one another.
